Confessions of an Art Gallery

The walls of the gallery are thin - or - if the art could talk.

I imagine they hold their tongues till the last customer is out the door, till the workers are all gone and the lights go out.  Then the whispers start.

  "Did you hear what that guy said about you?",  pointing down the corridor to a mixed media piece hanging on the wall - and slightly off of it at the same time.

  "What?",  it replied in horror.

  "Something out of my garage!", the watercolor said.

  "Oh what do they know.  Art lovers my foot!", as it shrugged and lost one of its parts.

  "Now look what you've done, the gallery owner shall surely wonder how that happened.", added the watercolor.

  "They all do it", said a lovely delicate mobile hanging from the ceiling. "I see all, nothing gets passed me."
"Art lovers and art critiques alike.  They all think they can paint it or build it or photograph as well as the artists."

  "I could do THAT.",  laughs the sculpture, mocking the customers who didn't buy anything.

  "It's all just a matter of perspective don't you see.", said the blob in the corner. ( No one ever really knew what it was but it had a pretty high price tag on it.)
"People only see themselves in art."

  "What did he say?  It is a he, isn't it?"  The other paintings talked amongst themselves.

  "What I mean is," the blob continued, "is that they see the art subjectively, as they are, and not as it is."

  "I think you have a point.", said the seascape, "It's not really about the art, it's about them, their narrow view of life, right?"

   The blob moved, "Yes, exactly."

  "How do they differ from the people who really love art, then?", came a small voice on a pedestal.

  "You mean our hero's, the real appreciators?  They are more evolved.", boasted an oil painting.

  "I think they are more spiritual, more creative.", said the dainty fairy sculpture.

  The blob spoke again. "I think we are just like them, we all differ in our opinions."
They all laughed together.

Perhaps it is all relative, but next time you're in an art gallery, show a little respect - the walls have ears.

*Contributing Copy Editor, Stacey Smith